Ode to Earthday

Earthday rears it's ugly head

Do I dare get out of bed?

The hippies will be drawing near

spreading all their doom and fear

With protest cries of global warming

to the parks they will be swarming

"Don't barbeque, please don't wear leather,

It's MAN that's fucking up the weather,

Don't be a part of 'the machine'

you know you should be going green.

Animals have rights, didn't you hear?

You're less important than that deer!"

Those whining pricks- my idea's better

get rid of that ugly hemp sweater.

Go comb your dreads, clean up a bit.

How 'bout a shower-you smell like shit!

Go get a job, a husband, wife

but STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE.

You're "movement" isn't really true.

The government is using you

to tax us all to fucking death

and regulate our every breath,

what car to drive, what food to eat

I'm sure they're gonna tax red meat.

You're helping government gain power,

eroding freedom by the hour.

And this won't be ok with you

when they take the things that YOU like too,

and you no longer have a choice,

and none of us will have a voice.

If that day comes, don't cry to me-

I'll say' "go hug a fucking tree"