Monday, February 22, 2010

Leave My Wiener Alone

So, they want to put warning labels on hot dogs.

This post is about hot dogs- if you thought it was about anything else, then you're fucked up. Maybe you need to invest in some brain bleach. Either way, that's your fucking problem.

Today my problem is hot dogs.

First of all, kids choke on hot dogs. It is mainly because the casings may be hard for them to chew. Grapes have been known to cause the same problem. If you really want to give your children either of these things, it is best to peel off the casing, or cut them into bite sized pieces. It takes a little extra work, but it's much safer that way. I would never want a child to choke on anything.

Like most things in life, it is up to parents to protect their children from things that can hurt them. It is important to check on the things they are doing, what they are eating, what they are watching, the music they listen to...
Having said that, I would like to know why the government thinks I'm too fucking stupid to be able to figure this shit out for myself.
I don't want warning labels on hot dogs.

I want people to think.

If we are going to start labeling everything that could possibly hurt us because we are morons, then I have a few suggestions:
  • "Brain damage may occur with prolonged exposure"- on Public Schools
  • "Temperatures may be hotter or colder than current environment"- on all doors
  • "Staring directly into the big bright light source may cause vision loss"- on windows
  • "Improper technique can result in scratched cornea"- on your toothbrush (this really happened to someone I know)
  • "Failure to secure fully could result in bodily injury"- on your sneakers
  • "Do not ingest"- on light bulbs
  • "Eating the entire container may lead to a big fat ass"- on ice cream containers
  • "Not to be used as a life saving device"- on the toilet seat
I don't want to live in a nanny state that has decided for me what is good or bad. I don't want to be told what I can or can't say, what I can or can't eat, or what is or isn't right for MY family. I also don't want us to become so reliant on "warning labels" that we stop thinking for ourselves. The same government that wants to warn you about hot dogs, let your kids eat lead paint from China (but we don't want to make too big a deal about that- we need their CASH).

Well, that's all I'm going to say about that. I hear a bowl of soup calling my name. I hope the spoon came with instructions...
ps-screw Flanders


  1. I couldn't agree more, a lot of those warning labels are absolutely unnecessary if people only knew that they can use their brains to think & use common sense. Those people probably assume their brains come with an "on" button & instructions, which they are unable to find. That said, behind every warning label stands a lawyer who made himself and an unfortunate brainless person rich by suing a company for not doing the thinking for them.

  2. your warning labels are FUCKING classic!!! LMAO!!! More More.....
    Unfortunately most people ARE morons and when they do something matter how obvious....they want to blame it on someone else and get paid for being a dumb ass...

  3. Wow, I thought that was a joke, until I caught the news tonight! This is getting ridiculous. They may as well put choking hazard warnings on those similarly shaped items you keep in your sock drawer.

  4. Ben, ROFLMFAO!!!

    Great Post Tish!, Yes there is to much people not thinking for themselves but want big brother to do it for them. I think this has a lot to do with Sunje's point, there is a lawyer involved or a whole crew of them, waiting to make our lives even more complicate, more expensive, more controlled. Many of these people put the worst example of a human be3ing in the white House that we have ever seen.

    I support the principles of natural selection. The strong will survive and that means those of us that are daring enough to think for ourselves.

    In the meantime, what was that warning label that I had to click to get here?


  5. I know- I don't know why you need to be warned about the possible use of foul language, if it's MY blog, it's a fucking guarantee! :D

  6. I've been reading warnings on so many things lately that I figure the pinheads who NEED to figure out that a fucking electric hair dryer shouldn't be immersed in water are the people who voted for Obama.

  7. I actually did a blog about the weenie war, which reminded me of the warning on Silly Putty not to use it as ear plugs.
    The first time I saw it I laughed until tears were flowing and asked my (nurse practitioner) sister what kind of IDIOT would do such a thing.

    She phoned me a few days later to tell me that one of the other nurses actually seriously suggested sticking Putty in your ears (for some reason I can't remember, I think infection. my sister was howling and difficult to understand)

    Never underestimate the stupid.