This post is about hot dogs- if you thought it was about anything else, then you're fucked up. Maybe you need to invest in some brain bleach. Either way, that's your fucking problem.
Today my problem is hot dogs.
First of all, kids choke on hot dogs. It is mainly because the casings may be hard for them to chew. Grapes have been known to cause the same problem. If you really want to give your children either of these things, it is best to peel off the casing, or cut them into bite sized pieces. It takes a little extra work, but it's much safer that way. I would never want a child to choke on anything.
Like most things in life, it is up to parents to protect their children from things that can hurt them. It is important to check on the things they are doing, what they are eating, what they are watching, the music they listen to...
Having said that, I would like to know why the government thinks I'm too fucking stupid to be able to figure this shit out for myself.
I don't want warning labels on hot dogs.
I want people to think.
If we are going to start labeling everything that could possibly hurt us because we are morons, then I have a few suggestions:
- "Brain damage may occur with prolonged exposure"- on Public Schools
- "Temperatures may be hotter or colder than current environment"- on all doors
- "Staring directly into the big bright light source may cause vision loss"- on windows
- "Improper technique can result in scratched cornea"- on your toothbrush (this really happened to someone I know)
- "Failure to secure fully could result in bodily injury"- on your sneakers
- "Do not ingest"- on light bulbs
- "Eating the entire container may lead to a big fat ass"- on ice cream containers
- "Not to be used as a life saving device"- on the toilet seat
Well, that's all I'm going to say about that. I hear a bowl of soup calling my name. I hope the spoon came with instructions...