Can Your Pussy Do This?

Raise your hand if you believe in ghosts-

If you raised your hand, I have to say- PUT IT DOWN, I CAN'T SEE YOU!!!!!

DUH

I'm going to tell you a story about a television, a dictionary, and a cat.

Ready?

Some years ago, my husband (who was my boyfriend at the time) lived in a very old building. There were still fixtures in the wall where the gas lamps once were. It was very old. I didn't live there, but I was there most days. There was nothing else odd about the building, there was no major traffic on the street it was on. No trains ran by it. It's not on a fault line.

The first odd thing that happened was subtle. The volume of television in the bedroom would randomly go up and down. At first, it was slight, just enough to be noticed, but within a few weeks was going from muted to ear piercing. We thought it was the TV.

The next thing that happened was not as easily written off as a technical problem. We had a gigantic dictionary. I don't remember WHY we had a gigantic dictionary at this point in time, but we did. It was open on the floor, sitting next to the dresser. My husband and I were at the opposite end of the room, looking out the window at the street below. We were waiting for a friend to pick us up. We were completely startled by a loud "clap" followed by a "thud". The only thing that had changed, was that the dictionary had closed. This was the first of many times it would happen. We started leaving it open on purpose, to see how often it would happen.

We got a kitten soon after the dictionary incident. She was a cute little thing, that clawed everyone's feet. We named her Claws. She was awesome. She could also see ghosts.

After the kitten came, weird things stopped happening, or maybe we didn't notice them because we were occupied with her. Until...

We were watching TV in the room, and Claws is laying by the window in the sun. She out of nowhere starts hissing at nothing. Just staring into what seems like the empty of the middle of the room, and hissing. We thought maybe the cat needed Prozac, until the bed started to vibrate. Not the kind of insane shaking like in a movie, vibrating like a massage chair. When the bed stopped, so did the cat's hissing.

Nothing else ever really happened there. My husband moved to another apartment a few months later. The cat went with him. We figured that whatever it was, was over. It was never scary. It was kind of fun.

A little while after moving into the new apartment, Claws started hissing and spitting at nothing again. You could hear footsteps on the staircase leading up to the apartment, but no one was there. This would happen occasionally. I started saying, "whoever you are, you're pissing off my cat, you have to leave".

Silly ghosts.

Well, that's the story. Almost all of this stuff happened in the middle of the afternoon or evening. Never while we were asleep. I have more, but I'll save them for another time.

-Tish

*screw Flanders