Friday, January 7, 2011


So, the whole "shorty" awards on twitter are kind of annoying.  They are boring, and I really don't care about them.  The nominating process clogs up my stream, so I am constantly seeing tweets about them.

I've decided to make up my own awards for all you fuckers that follow me.
"The Wenchies"

Here are the rules:
It will be a "write in" ballot.
Vote for anyone you would like to in as many of the categories as you would like.
Send your votes to the email address I will give you at the end of this post.
You must use their twitter username.
You must sign the vote with your twitter username.
You can give a reason if you want to- it's not mandatory.
You can't vote for yourself.
You can't vote for me.
Please make sure you list the category with the person you are voting for, as I am not a fucking mind reader.
Only vote once in each category.
Polling ends on 1-22-11.
Winners announced on 1-23-11

If you win, you may get a lovely certificate emailed to you, saying you won.
I think the fact that a bunch of freaks decided that you are among the most fucked up should be reward enough though.

Here are the categories:

1- Rudest Bastard
2- Most Likely to get arrested wearing crocs
3- Made me spew liquid out of my nose from laughter
4- Biggest instigator
5- Has used the word "fuck" as every part of speech
6- Person I would most like to get drunk with just to watch them puke
7- Most likely to secretly keep midgets in their closet
8- Biggest all around freak
9- Most likely to wake up with a g-string stuck in their teeth
10- Sickest Mind

Ok- so really, start voting!
Send your emails to:
I'm not kidding.  If I can come up with some kind of fucked up prizes, I will.
RT this tweet too!

ps-screw flanders


  1. Can't vote for you? What kind of BS is that?!?!?!?!??

  2. Can't vote for me, and I'm not voting. :D

  3. Ahahahaha I want to call these the Casket Bastard awards for some reason. OK; off to spread word of this awesomkeness

  4. UH... can't include you? have to make sure you win a fucked up category in the shortys.

    Oddly enough (odd even for you... especially for you) you didn't include a category that includes the word "penis" in any form...

    I'm working on a vote... maybe