Tuesday, September 14, 2010

And Now it's all Just Taco Bell

So, our First Lady wants to tell restaurants what they can and can't put on their menus.  She seems to think that we are all too stupid to feed our children healthy food.  That we crave sugar, fat, and salt SO much that it has complete control of our central nervous systems when we enter a restaurant, and we are little more than drooling morons who will just order anything on the menu to satisfy our addiction.

It must be difficult to for her to be First Lady of such a fat disgusting country.
I hope the gubmint starts controlling our food intake more closely soon, so I don't have to think so much anymore.  Everyday I wake up and can't remember if it's wrong to put butter into my coffee.  Plus, the urge to give my kids bowls of lard for lunch is almost too strong to fight off!  How can I be expected to continue this way?

kljydsluifh <-- oops, sorry, i was eating a pork chop and my fingers were greasy

This is just ridiculous.  More government control in the name of "protecting the children".  If the government really wanted to protect the children, they would protect the fucking boarder and stop criminals from coming into the country.  I'm thinking the Mexican drug cartel MAY be more detrimental to your health than a fucking twinkie! (those creamy delicious bastards- the twinkies that is)

What will be next?  Outlawing video games because sitting for too long is causing kids to be fat?  What about TV?  Should we have mandatory exercise time?  Will we be taxed if our BMI is over a certain number?  WHAT ABOUT IF WE ARE GENETICALLY MORE LIKELY TO BE FAT? <-- for those of you too stupid to eat carrots this is the idea that tall people have tall children, rabbits have bunnies, and chubby people have chubby children.  It's what men mean when they say "If you want to see your wife in 20 years, look at her mother".  What then?

In conclusion, I'd like to leave you with a clip from Demolition Man.  Please watch it. Is that really what you want? I don't.

I have to go.  My kid wants lunch.  I was going to give her a deep fried Snickers bar, but she wants a turkey sandwich.

Demolition Man

ps-screw Flanders


  1. Great piece of work and certainly to the point!

  2. Truth is funnier than fiction. Dandy post!


    a Genetically rotund vegan

  3. I liked this one the first time I read it. So, when are you going to write another?