Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving. I am truly thankful for every blessing I have been given. I am thankful to God for my family, friends, and my health. I truly truly do not take anything for granted. I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving day......


The rest of this post it now titled:
The Stupid Shit That Pisses Me The Fuck Off!

Let's start with Thanksgiving, shall we? (to be more specific- Thanksgiving as it is celebrated in public schools)
The kids are all told to give thanks. <- And that's where the sentence ends. Give thanks to who? or to what? Give thanks to the toilet paper for cleaning your ass? The schools can't and won't dare say God, because that would cause a tear in the space/time continuum and we would cease to exist. The Pilgrims gave thanks to God. NOT TO THE INDIANS.
Which reminds me.....
The friendly peace loving Native Americans that saved the poor retarded Pilgrims by teaching them to hunt and fish and grow corn and breathe, didn't exist. Ask Laura Ingalls how fucking friendly the Indians were. Scalping wasn't a way to regrow hair. The Pilgrims made peace with the Indians. The next person who spews the whole "poor peace loving Native Americans" crap gets a flaming arrow to the chest.

Oh and here's another thing the pisses me off- the terms BCE and CE being used in place of BC and AD. "Common Era"? Are you fucking kidding me? If we can just replace terms whenever we feel like it, I'm replacing the term "progressive" with "piece of shit socialist bastard". (soon to be followed by replacing the term "hello" with "go fuck yourself")

Since I started this poetic post with Thanksgiving, I would like to end it with Thanksgiving- the PETA Thanksgiving TV spot. It warms my heart to see PETA exploit a young girl to save a turkey. How far does your head have to be up your ass to come up with ads like this? I hope that we find out that vegetables can feel pain so they all have to run around naked and starve to death. (I'll have dark meat please-mmmmm delicious murdered bird thigh)

So, that's it. My Thanksgiving post. If you thought it would be warm and fuzzy, you probably need the Betty Ford clinic. (seriously-what the fuck were you thinking?)

Happy Thanksgiving! :D

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The Governor...and Zombies!

So New Jersey has elected a new governor. Chris Christie....a republican. That may seem like a great achievement by itself, but considering how the dead vote in New Jersey, it's almost a miracle.

Last time I checked, most of the free range zombies in the state are Democrats. My personal zombie hoard was locked up tight in the dungeo...I mean basement....oh fuck it- it's a dungeon. I counted them twice last night just to be sure they were all there. I have them trained to vote Republican, but they get ooze all over the ballots and it's a pain in the ass to try to mail them in that way.

The democrats in this state must have lost control of their zombies. Maybe they were all gay and went to Taxachewsettes to get married. Wait... is zombie marriage legal there yet?

Anyway, I hope our new Governor does what he says he will do. It would be nice to see the taxes here decreased. The state needs a good cleaning. Only time will tell now. Hopefully he keeps his promises.....

If not, I could always let the hoard out.... :D