Thursday, April 22, 2010

Top Ten Earthday Tips!

Some fun Earthday tips for all you lovely miscreants!
  1. Build a tire fire!- It'll burn for a really really long time, and keep the mosquitoes away.
  2. Instead of a toilet, use your neighbors lawn- this will save on water AND fertilize the soil.
  3. Puppy barbeque!- since you've got the tire fire going anyway
  4. Instead of driving to a store, just take what you need from the closest neighbor- I'm sure they won't mind. You DID fertilize their lawn.
  5. Use only whale oil lanterns today!- none of those evil light bulbs
  6. Don't use garbage bags!- plastics hurt the environment. A nice family of rats can take care of that garbage in no time at all!
  7. Use latex gloves instead of condoms!- (that's 5 goats per glove to you diverbh)
  8. Pour some warm soapy water on a hippie- to stop air pollution
  9. Any protest signs should be written on your own body, written in your own blood only.- please don't waste trees or ink (especially if you can't spell)
  10. Print this list 1000 times and pass it on- so we're all on the same page.

Yeah- I love Earthday. Now remember kids, the hippies will be out in full force today, so hide your snacks.
I'm going to go mix paper and plastic.....let's hope it doesn't cause the apocalypse

*screw Flanders